This blog consists of a talk delivered by Linda Gascoyne, Co-CEO of SYCLS, during Rotherham Hospice’s “Light Up a Life” 2024 services.
It may be warm in here but, as we arrived, we were all aware that winter is on its way. The days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer. Even the winter sun seems a little paler, fighting its way through the clouds. And everything in nature seems to slow down; as if it shows itself a little kindness and takes a rest. The trees don’t try and hold onto their leaves but let them fall to the ground; the bulbs stay shielded underground; some small creatures burrow themselves away or hibernate.
And we too have learnt how to bring comfort. We draw strength from simple things: a flickering flame on a single candle, a splash of red on a robin (I saw one on our bird bath earlier this week and it made me smile), a string of coloured lights in our homes, snuggly jumpers, mugs of hot drinks; and the warmth of connecting with others.
And just as it feels that winter will go on for ever, we see small shoots pushing through the soil and we realise that we have made it through to spring.
It was the late Queen who wrote in a message:
“Grief is the price we pay for love.”
And that price feels high; but it is the love that brings us here this afternoon. And just like winter, we draw strength and comfort from simple things: A smile at a special memory, hearing a favourite song we shared, making a toast to our loved one at a meal. And as we see here tonight: the value of connection and the warmth of a community that understands. A hand on your arm, a listening ear, a shared candle flame.
Grief is the price we pay for love and it is that love that has brought us. A time to remember, to mark the lives of those we miss, to reflect on their love for us which we hold in our hearts, to reflect on our love for them. Grief may be the price we pay for love but this afternoon we say that love never fades. And we don’t hold our candle in solitary aloneness, but we share our lights with each other. A single glimmer that grows into a beautiful display of light, comfort and hope.
So, as we pause, I invite you to light your candle: to reflect on what your loved ones meant and mean to you, to be thankful, to remember the love, maybe to acknowledge or let go of difficult aspects of the relationship, if it’s meaningful for you, to pray – to honour and give space to the many lives represented here today.
“As a single candle burning in the night has the power to dispel the darkness, so may Hope’s flame blaze brightly in your soul and may you be given grace to face the shadows.” (Niteblessings)
